I acted like I didn’t care when I would see you out at restaurants or out running but I did, sometimes I would lock myself in the bathroom and just have a meltdown screaming and crying but honestly I would do everything again because I love you even if you don’t love me.
It’s just that I’ve always run away from reality. You made me want to stay. Every time I was hurting, you gave me a reason to stay. You gave me hope. You always insisted on getting to know me, although I’ve built a tough wall that nobody can easily enter through. You insisted on staying. You put up a fight to keep me in your life. You valued me unlike any other. You respected me. You made me feel like I’m your everything. You gave me attention and affection unlike any other man ever has. You made me feel hopeful. The fact that I’ve lost you forever leaves me in the kind of pain that cannot be described. It hurts inside. It hurts every time I think of you. What’s killing me slowly is having thoughts of you creep inside my mind throughout the day. Every hour and every minute.
I’ve lost the one person I cared for immensely. I’ve lost you to the cruel world. You’re now gone and all I have left are the memories. They haunt me. They remind me of how I felt when I was with you. It’s worse than losing you because now I have the memories to remind me of my loss. You. Wherever you are, whoever you’re with, I hope I also cross your mind. I hope I haunt you.
I’m really thinking of ending all, nobody needs me in his life, I care about everyone, but nobody cares about me, no problem if I get to disappear, a time or a lifetime.
